Loving touch, sensual and sexual is a fundamental need of all humans.
Background of Dave in Phoenix
For decades Dave has enjoyed learning, experiencing and sharing "LoveTouch intimacy, sensuality and sexuality ideas. While he totally supports wild great sex, to Dave the caring "LoveTouch" intimacy skills are just as important for both his own enjoyment and that of most of the women he has met.
In the mid 1980's Dave attended many Stan Dale "Sex, Love and Intimacy" workshops in California, where he learned and experienced the group dynamics of true love, intimacy and fulfilling sexuality far beyond just thrusting intercourse. While these groups were often closer to New Age type beliefs, Dave saw more Christlike love than what he had ever experienced in the traditional church. Too often the church is too busy reaching UP to God to reach OUT to each other. There are more people in the world starving for love and affection than starving for food, but when it comes to meaningful intimate interaction, the church is too often "God's Frozen People." While the workshops are a bit too "new age spirtual" for my tastes, it is still very powerful especially for people working on various sexual issues.
In Dave's childhood he was very shy. He was scared of women and didn't date till he was a senior in college. He never went to a dance. Gradually he became more outgoing and married, but many decades ago, before his interest in exploring sexuality beliefs, after being resingled, he was insecure and lonely. Many women reacted negatively to him, sensing neediness and insecurity. But slowly, over time, after experiencing the Stan Dale workshops, some sex surrogacy training, Esalen massage training and lots of G-spot massage experience, he found women strangely attracted to him...especially once they started to experience his touch. For many year he thought all men were naturally, wonderfully intimate and he was just far behind. But so many women started telling him that they had seldom experienced men with good touch and intimacy skills that Dave began to wonder why. He concluded that most men want to be intimate but haven't learned how.
Co-Founder Liberated Christians in 1988
Promoting Positive Intimacy and Sexuality Including Responsible Nonmonogamy or Polyamory as a legitimate CHOICE for Christians and others / Exposing false traditions of sexual repression that have no biblical basis. Promoting Intimacy & Other-Centered, Loving Sexuality.
Dave comes from a very conservative church background. decades ago he was very active in evangelical, conservative ministries, including Bible Study Fellowship, Christian Business Men's Committee, Billy Graham Crusades, as well as serving as deacon in a conservative Presbyterian Church in Minneapolis. For many years he believed in the inerrant word of God--that "God says it and that settles it."
But then he met a couple where both husband and wife were going to Lutheran Theological Seminary to be Lutheran ministers. They started pointing out how in Hebrew and Greek there were obvious contradictions in scripture and some things he thought were crystal clear were quite foggy. Being interested in supporting his conservative beliefs concerning sexuality, Dave set out to do more research to prove his position correct that sex was wrong unless you were married and then only with your wife.
Dave read many books by theologians and experts in Greek and Hebrew and slowly, over time, found the evidence was overwhelming that he had been very wrong in his traditional beliefs. Dave became very upset that the church would mistranslate and misapply biblical passages to promote an agenda which was not based on the original biblical texts.
In the Spring of 1995 the Phoenix paper New Times featured Liberated Christians on its front page. While their article was humorous and somewhat sensational, it did tell our story and some couples contacted us. The headline of the article was "Onward Christian Swingers - Looking for God in all the wrong places? - Try this Sunday meeting!". My favorite line from the article was: "The group's introductory literature may be the only publication on Earth where you'll find the phrases 'Old Testament' and 'vibrating nipple clamps' on the same page."
Dave led the Liberated Christians Phoenix Couples Fellowship Group which was very active from 1995 through 1997. Over 350 people attended the required 3-hour intro, and most continued for a series of meaningful workshops and great parties.
He was a speaker at many Lifestyles National Swingers Conventions and other national swing conventions in the 1990's "Liberated Christians not a Biblical Conflict" including related video and audio tapes still being distributed by the Lifestyles organization.
Esalen Massage - Professionally trained 1980s and have led many workshops and massage rooms at swing conventions. See Esalen Massage It's So Nice To Be Kneade
Experiences showing the need for more intimacy which has been one of our prime goals:
One example of men's lack of awareness is the experience Dave had a few years ago with a couple. He was in bed with the wife. The husband is observing, really wanting to learn to be more intimate. All of a sudden the wife says "See honey, foreplay is more than ready.... brace." He laughed and agreed he had never learned intimacy, but wanted to.
Another example was when a couple had him do Esalen massage on the woman. After a while the man came upstairs to see how they were doing and got all turned on seeing his nude girlfriend on the table. He jumped in wanting to poke her and be sexual with her. As he was poking and groping her body parts, he asked how things were going. She replied "Great until you came up." Sometimes honest communications can be embarrassing, but he did get the message that at that time she wanted the intimacy of massage and not poking and groping.
About 2010 in Canada (Toronto), an Asian man, contacted Dave and asked if he would spend an hour teaching him some sensual Esalen massage with his strip club dancer girlfriend. He rented a hotel room and a massage table for the meeting. He was a fast learner and already had many good sensual loving touch skills. The girlfriend was like in heaven, and the session went on for about 2.5 hours.
At a Florida Swing convention, Dave met a couple who he had been in e-mail contact with for a long time on intimacy issues and he had medical issues for which he was not always "up". Dave did a certain Tantra like the position the wife really liked as well as other types of more intimate sexuality. All had a great time and letting the husband in when he was able. But the real story came after they went to a group room at the swingers convention.
A bit after midnight the hotel fire alarm went off - no idea why maybe someone drunk. Wife came running down the hall into Dave’s room in tears. She just wanted to snuggle and cuddle up with Dave in bed. Dave had no idea why but knew enough about women to just hold her and not ask "what's wrong" too soon. Dave just cuddled with her for a long time, but concerned what happened to her husband, did he know she was with Dave and what happened?
Gradually she got to talking and she was so upset with just the raw sex in the group room vs. what she really enjoyed was Dave’s kind or intimacy. After about 2 hours, being worried about her husband we all connected again and husband said he figured she was with Dave, and he knew she would be safe. He was actually great and, of course, Dave really enjoyed his wife!
Safe Sex Always
Dave always uses and encourages condoms and safe sex for anyone enjoying a variety of sexual partners. He is quite certain if an accurate survey was possible, the rate of STDs among both swingers and professional private sexworkers is far less than in the overall population. STD's have just never been a real issue among responsible adults (vs. street hookers).
Intimacy is Not for Everyone
Not everyone is going to become interested in real intimacy. Being intimate is much more threatening and difficult for many than just having recreational sex with strangers. But for Dave, he doesn't enjoy sex without physical intimacy, but can often enjoy intimacy even without sex.
Promoting Intimacy and Positive, Healthy, Consenting Adult Sexuality
Created By Dave in Phoenix December, 1997
Since Dave has never been that interested in just raw sex and rarely participated, he has gradually phased out the Phoenix Private List started in 1996 which had as many as 1500 subscribers. With the less interest and the repressive legal situation in the U.S. as of 2015 the Private List is mostly reporting on legal issues and the fight for decriminalization for in private consenting adults. There are about 350 escorts/companions, etc. that receive the periodic free Phoenix Private List in 2015. Some of the articles are also posted on the public website http://phxlist.com/forum/
Dave’s interest in private consenting adult sexwork was the result of how to help the zillions of single men that could not be accommodated in the Liberated Christians Couples group. Couples prefer to relate to other couples, and there were very few single women interested unless already in a relationship - so a couple.
Sex work can provide companionship, intimacy and sexual fulfillment for both men and women if done with the right attitude by sex workers with good attitudes and warm personalities viewing clients as real people, not just ATM machines. Likewise, sex workers should be viewed with dignity and respect, and not as bodies parts to be groped and poked.
Dave’s main interest hasn't been escorts, but full contact lap dances with great wholesome mutually enjoyed intimacy interactions especially in the huge clubs in Mississauga and Niagra Falls Canada.
Dave enjoys the most the adult body rubs offering nude-reverse massage since he enjoys giving Esalen-type massage to women and the usual great reaction in addition to receiving. The licensed and fully legal huge adult body rubs with so many beautiful women to choose from on their websites is refreshing. Most have outstanding sensual skills, and some do better real massage then some LMT’s in the U.S. BTW, a “happy ending” is just no big deal and just part of the massage. No silly tipping or other games when you don’t have the repressive legal situation we have in the U.S.
Dave has enjoyed the adult freedoms of Canada (in the Summer) for over a decade. Some of his reports over the years are at his sites http://www.sexworktoronto.com, http://www.sexworkcanada.com, and he has been very active on the Toronto Erotic Review Board https://terb.cc/vbulletin/ with over 1500 posts over about a decade.
Professional consenting adult sexwork in Dave's view can be very positive for a culture. Studies have shown the more sexually repressed a culture is the more violent it tends to be - certainly the case in the U.S. , Of course, health issues are more an excuse than a reality in professional sexwork, just like swinging. Both activities are very low risk compared to meeting the women at a bar for example. Those that are sexually mature and informed are far more likely to be careful about their sexual health.
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